Another mahasabha initiative for Valentine’s Day

VDay

Couples looking for a quick easy divorce will soon be able to do so on Valentine’s Day. The Chindi Mahasabha (CMS) has announced a new initiative wherein scouts of the CMS would be patrolling towns across India on Feb 14 to identify divorce candidates. To avail the services, a divorce-seeking couple just needs to turn up in a public place and avoid all of the gestures mentioned below:

  1. Holding hands
  2. Kissing
  3. Hugging each other

Couples who stand at least 5 feet away from each other will be given top priority and will have a fast-track divorce.

The service has been welcomed by couples who had been waiting for their divorce cases to come up for hearing in the efficient-as-IRCTC courts. A 45-year-old said on condition of anonymity, “This is really a godsend for me. I have been having an extramarital affair but just could not apply for divorce since the alimony would leave me naked for life. Now this CMS service will ease my burden.” He further disclosed that after he had got the quick divorce through CMS, he would engage in PDA with his new lover in another public place where the Hindu Mahasabha (HMS) could notice them and get them married. Several sociologists have welcomed the CMS initiative saying it will be a true ghar wapasi for the separating couple.

The announcement has also polarised public opinion. A-knob Goswami in his show “Goswami wants to know” questioned the CMS panel about their true motives behind the program, but predictably never allowed them to answer. Hrithik Roshan and Aamir Khan expressed disappointment that the CMS divorce scheme was not launched earlier while Salman Khan thought it was too early. Scores of men in Haryana were indifferent to both the schemes – they were still searching for a bride thanks to the skewed sex ratio in the state. PETA activists staged a protest outside the CMS office asking why pet dogs or cats were not granted the service.

The CMS and the HMS have each pledged their support to the other. As part of this support a couple from the HMS will get divorced under the supervision of the CMS. A couple of hours later, a dating couple from the CMS will have an HMS pandit preside over their wedding rites.

News just coming in has reported a surge in depression among divorce lawyers and wedding planners. Many of them are mulling a career switch and might join one of the Mahasabhas.

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