Been there

I have been a sonnet
that stumbled clumsily
around meter and rhyme.
I am now a freewheeling poem
who does not care
where the verse will end.

I was not sure
if my orbit had to be prograde or retrograde,
I wasn’t even sure if I was around the right sun.
Now I just roll with the times,
get inspired by Pluto
and wonder if I need to belong to a solar system.

I have been as touchy as a rubber balloon stretched over a cup,
Dreading yet waiting for the moment I might snap.
I have tried to cling onto cliffs with fishhooks,
I have tried to swim with my hair tied to anchors.
In crowds of more than two,
I have felt my feet fill up with stones
my tongue stuck to my palate like a postal stamp,
and my hands trembling so fast you could use them to keep time.
Then I just let go.
Psst, once in a while my tongue still goes back to a stutter,
and my fingers remind me BET will stay on, probably for life.
I tell them, ‘Make sure the bugger has a nice stay.’

I have been the brick that worried if it would make a home,
I have been the geek
who was scared he would be ganged up on,
the geek whose fears did come true
when his strengths were pulled apart like petals,
when he found knowing math was not cool.
I’ve been the guy who’d never leave without a map,
so he’d never be lost.

Now I’m still the same bloke
with the same flaws.
I look up the map
when I want to be lost.

NaPoWriMo 2017, Poem 15


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