How to be an internet intellectual

First,
Embrace an ism.
Any ism.
Nationalism.
Feminism.
Atheism.
Fundamentalism.
Communism.
Okay that last one’s almost dead. All the more likely you will stand out.
Stick to this ism
like it’s an extension of your skin,
like you would not exist had this newly discovered creed of yours hadn’t existed.

Second,
Voice your opinion.
On
every
social
network.
Proclaim it,
our country gives you the freedom of speech.
It is what gives you a forked tongue
so do not put a leash on it.
If however,
someone questions your line of thought
or produces a pile of contradicting data,
hurl buckets of titles at them.
If it’s a woman who questions patriarchy,
call her randi, bitch, whore.
If it’s a man who questions feminism,
call him an asshole or a chauvinist.
Say you are ashamed of him because he does not agree with you.
If he rejects your model of nationalism,
send him to Pakistan.
If it’s technically possible send him to Mars.
Knock them off their train with your vitriol.
Again, it’s freedom of speech.

Third,
Voice your opinions frequently.
Does not have to be something different.
You can repeat the same argument for weeks or months.
If you don’t, you might run the risk of being forgotten.

Fourth,
Use words that will have people reaching for the dictionary.
Deliberately bamboozle befuddled souls with obfuscated words.
Simplicity and clarity is for the naïve.
Sophistication will paint a halo around your head.
If you’re a writer, write because you want to change the world.
Anything less will not cut it;
If you’re funny, don’t let it seep through.
Limit that to the coffee table with your friends.

Note. You may not enjoy all this.
Who said being an intellectual was easy?

NaPoWriMo 2017, Poem 18

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