There was a time when most spam emails promised to increase penis size. They were clearly one-dimensional. And focussed. I see spam today has evolved organically just like the rest of the internet. So occasionally, on a laidback day, which is mostly a weekly phenomenon, I entertain myself by skimming through the unread messages in … Continue reading The alternate universes in my mailbox
Category: humour
Pauses
Some pauses, the accidental ones, the half ums, the ers, appear out of nowhere, like camouflaged speedbreakers on a highway. They disrupt rhythm, throwing speaker and listener a few inches off the ground, without caring to break their fall. But pauses, when used right, intentionally, add gravitas. Like this line. Split into three. Or this: … Continue reading Pauses
Sarahahaha
Okay, so Sarahah has taken over social media, which is weird for an app that guarantees anonymity to users. Like Gujarat tourism being endorsed by Kingfisher. Getting back to Sarahah, my Facebook wall this week has been plastered with turquoise green screenshots – until then I thought turquoise was a mythical colour. I don’t get … Continue reading Sarahahaha
The man who shrank the earth
Prompt: Write from the point of view of a person who changed the course of history. You might know me and my friend Larry. If you don't, you can just google, haha. Who knew a research project would take us this far? We connect bits of information scattered over the earth, Melt it in one … Continue reading The man who shrank the earth
Faking it!
So, Faking News published this piece I wrote after the incessant rain in Bangalore this week. http://my.fakingnews.firstpost.com/society/fishing-poised-replace-bengalurus-top-industry-22873 Any more heavy showers next week, and we might see water sports mushrooming in the city too.
How to be a smartphone
1. Connect to hundreds (or thousands, if you can) of other smartphones through Facebook, WhatsApp, Twitter, Instagram. For the definition of a smartphone, read the rest of this list. 2. See a fraction (say 10%, not more) of population in point 1 in real life. 3. Love yourself. Befriend the selfie, and if possible the … Continue reading How to be a smartphone
The caterpillar
His hunger he can never sate and he never ever discriminates. If you question his eating and ask why, he’ll say he wants to be a butterfly. 100 Days of Happy Poems, Poem 2 Inspired in no small measure by Ogden Nash and his animal poems.
Another Haiku
Memory is a snake, Hibernating when needed, Hissing when not. The Dirty Thirty, Poem 9 Lagging behind in the April Poem a Day challenge. Got to go at more than 2 poems a day now.
Name mangling
No, this post is not about the name mangling that programming language compilers do. This is about a much more profound occurrence. On April 30, 1981, a young man named his new-born son after the West Indian pace bowler Malcolm Marshall. That young man was my father; the new-born turned out to be yours truly. … Continue reading Name mangling
The Armchair Cricket Expert (ACE)
Without a doubt, the armchair cricket expert (ACE) is one of the most thriving species in the Indian landscape. The large numbers of the ACE coupled with its vocal timbre make it hard to miss. Anywhere. Yes anywhere. You could be rushing to work perched on the footboard of a Mumbai local train with the … Continue reading The Armchair Cricket Expert (ACE)